Letters from Beyond the Backstory
by SCWLC
Summary: The third, and probably last, in the Backstory series. Just some emails exchanged.


Title: Letters From Beyond the Backstory

Author: SCWLC

Disclaimer: I own nothing, as always. Jared is owned by no one but himself, and possibly his fiancée.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: A little here and there for _Changing Channels_ and _Fallen Idols_. There is mention of various episodes from the other seasons as well, particularly _Monster Movie_ and _Wishful Thinking_.

Summary: A follow-up on my two previous fics, "A Visit to the Department of Inventive Backstory" and "What Happens When the Backstory Catches Up to You". Just some exchanged emails.

Notes: This is to continue the lighthearted theme of the other two stories in this series. That means that I'm not going to have Sam angst, I'm not mentioning any of the angels/apocalypse storyline and I don't plan on having this go anywhere that is likely to make anyone cry. Really, it's hovering on the crack!fic borderline.

* * *

In the weeks and months following the mess with Jared and the hotel suite, Sam found himself trading emails with his doppelganger. The care packages were quite a boon, particularly for keeping M&M costs down. If Dean was pigging out on brownies, he wasn't buying M&Ms.

* * *

Jared,

Hey, it's Sam Winchester. I just wanted to drop you a line. Thanks for the stuff and the cookies and things. We actually already have a thing we can use the infrared and the blue light for, so it was kinda nice not to have to buy new ones. The last ones we had got covered in slime. Don't ask.

Oh, I just wanted to mention, that if you run across a couple guys, they call themselves the Ghostfacers, or maybe the Hellhounds, I'm not really sure anymore, ignore them. They kind of know what they're talking about, but most of it's because Dean and I had to explain some things to them. They're pretty annoying and I thought they might show up trying to sell some ideas for a show.

The first time we ran into them, they managed to turn a practical joke into a haunting with a killer ghost. I mean, literally. There was this Buddhist symbol, and when they took pictures of the 'haunted house' and put the pictures and the story up on the internet, the symbol made all these people's concentration on the story come to life. So suddenly there was this killer ghost that would hang any girl in the house. When the story changed, the ghost changed. Dean set the house on fire, but we keep an eye on it because there's no way to know whether it might come back.

Anyhow, they also managed to nearly get themselves killed in a real haunted house too, one of their friends died, actually. I just don't want them getting delusions of glory. If they wind up involved with your show, it could be real trouble.

Dean says hi, and I'm going to beg you to never let Erik communicate with him again. There was some talk about meeting up with some Hollywood starlets. That would be a bad thing for everyone.

Thanks again,

Sam Winchester

* * *

Hey Sam!

It was nice to hear from you. Actually, your warning about Ed and Harry was just what we needed. I talked to Eric (Kripke) and the writing team, and they're putting together an episode where Saul and David have to deal with some wannabe journalists. I actually did get a chance to talk to Harry and Ed, and they said some pretty interesting things about you and Dean.

Did you really get them arrested? And how's the ghostbusting gig going anyhow? Should I send another care package to the same address? I keep getting this stuff, and I really don't know what to do with it. There are only so many cookies I can eat. Not to mention the fruitcake. Which I promise not to inflict on you.

Sincerely,

Jared

* * *

Hi Jared,

Things are going okay here. Don't send the fruitcake. While Dean will eat anything, and that includes fruitcake, it makes him gassy and we spend too much time in the car as it is.

**This is Dean. Don't listen to him. Send the fruitcake. Yeah, I know I shouldn't hijack his email, but he won't tell me what he's telling you.**

By the way, I know your fans keep going on about the crappy motels Saul and David stay in, but I have to tell you, they're nothing compared to some of the places Dean and I have stayed in. Trust me, you have not suffered until you've seen some of these places.

**Dude, he totally refuses to try the Magic Fingers. Actually, would you send me some quarters? We're going to be near another motel with those things soon and Sam hasn't let me have quarters since that thing with the dead priest who thought he was an angel. Also, I don't know what Sam was talking about. I'm attaching a couple pictures, there is nothing wrong with these, is there?**

We did deal with a shapeshifter trying to reenact crappy 50's horror movies. He had a silly Dracula costume and accent and everything. He did his basement up to look like a dungeon, but it was like a movie set or something. It was totally weird. The rest of the house was normal suburban stuff, then you reached the basement and it was a dungeon made out of plaster. I got to see Dean dressed in lederhosen

**I still looked totally awesome, the chick in there still dug me.**

and tied to a rack.

Anyhow, the girl the shapeshifter was keeping captive would up shooting it, and things turned out alright. I'm just sorry I didn't get a picture of Dean in the shorts.

About the rest of the packages, whatever else you want to send is fine. We don't make so much money at hustling pool

**Money I make at hustling pool. Sammy sits there and makes this face of his at me.**

that we can't use whatever we can get.

Thanks a lot,

Sam

**Send the fruitcake!**

**Dean**

* * *

Sam,

What's a shapeshifter? Also, would you mind telling me why you're keeping Dean from having quarters? He said something about Magic Fingers, but I don't know exactly what that means. Should I be afraid to ask?

Tell Dean that there's a lot wrong with the motel pictures he sent with the last email, and that I'm definitely going to recommend that the guys doing the sets get more creative if the 70's pimp-lounge is anything to go by.

I'm also really sorry not to have those pics of Dean in the lederhosen. I'm definitely going to talk to Kripke at the next chance I get about putting Erik into one of those outfits.

Jared

* * *

Hey Jared,

A shapeshifter is a person who's figured out, or maybe they can do it naturally, to shed their skin -- literally, it's really gross and slimy – and change to look like someone else. They absorb that person's memories too, so that they can impersonate them. We usually find them because they're killing people or robbing banks and things. Then they blame it on someone else.

**Yeah, me. So if you see something about me being a psycho-killer, I swear, it was the shapeshifter.**

About Dean. You sent him those quarters?! What were you thinking? Dean lying on a motel room bed with the stupid machine going is one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen, and that says a lot. I've walked in on my brother in a lot of sexual situations, mostly because he can't keep it in his pants for more than a day, and the look on his face when he uses those things creeps the ever-loving crap out of me. Don't. Send. Dean. Quarters.

**Just because he's never tried it, does not mean he should be taking away one of the joys of motel rooms. **

Our lives tend to be disturbing enough without me seeing Dean looking like he's about to have a 'climactic moment' because of a stupid vibrating bed.

'**Climactic moment'? Sometimes I wonder if the kid wasn't switched at birth with my real brother.**

Seriously, there was this teddy bear a kid wished to being alive. It was a manic-depressive horny teddy bear with a drinking problem. So, so disturbing.

**He had good taste in porn though. Busty Asian Beauties is a classic. Also, great taste in booze. That was some first-class whisky.**

I've been watching your show, actually. I really liked the episode with the klabautermann. I've always wondered how many supernatural things there are that Dean and I don't know about because we only go looking for things that are killing people.

Thanks for the latest package, especially that beano stuff. It's made life in the car a lot easier for both of us.

Sam

* * *

Sam,

I apologize about sending Dean the quarters. I have a brother, and I don't even want to think about what that would be like. It's bad enough that Dean's giving Erik ideas. There was this thing with Cindy Bronson, one of the other actresses in the _Hell Hazers_ movie . . . let's just say that I now knock on the door to my own trailer before heading in.

The teddy bear sound extremely disturbing, and you should know, if you don't already, that your brother is hijacking your emails before you send them off. I really don't want to know about what kind of porn living teddy bears like.

Thanks for the comment about the show. I wonder, because it's not really real, and since the writers are making up the mythology as they go, I'm willing to bet it's entirely inaccurate to reality. Thanks also for the reassurance that there may actually be something nice out there, and not just all the scary crap you guys have mentioned.

No worries about the beano. Glad to help.

Jared

**One of the fans saw Jared's internal explosions on an outtake reel and sent it to us. He totally didn't buy it.**

**Erik**

* * *

And so it went. Sam kept the grim stuff out of his emails, not wanting to drag Jared into anything awful. It was nice to be able to just talk about his and Dean's lives with someone who knew what was going on, to an extent, and to have an outside friend.

Besides, it was nice to have someone to ask about some things that fell just a little outside the purview of their regular research abilities.

Jared,

I have a quick question for you, and I hope you can get back to me on this. I know you were in that movie with Paris Hilton. How is she doing? I know it's an odd question, but something came up and I have to check.

Sam

* * *

Sam,

That's a very odd question, and as far as I know, since she and I really don't tend to hang out in the same circles, _House of Wax_ or no, she's fine. What's going on?

Jared

* * *

Hey Jared,

The reason I'd asked, and we've figured out what it was, is because there were these girls claiming Paris had kidnapped their friend. It turned out to be this European forest god that was impersonating her. It needed people to voluntarily sacrifice themselves to it, and since the girl was a fan of Paris Hilton, it pretended to be her.

So I got to see Dean get beat up by Paris Hilton.

**And I got to see Ghandi try to eat Sam's head, because Ghandi is Sam's hero. It was totally awesome. That guy was squirrely.**

Since we were trying to figure out if it was famous ghosts killing people, I just had to ask if Paris had maybe died or something.

**We had to go to this wax museum where they were keeping things belonging to famous people. One of the most creepy-assed things I've ever seen. **

It got the drop on us, but we got out and killed it. On the other hand, I got to find out that Dean keeps a better eye on pop culture than I do. He actually knew the name of the movie you were in with her, and about that BFF show. I looked it up online afterward just because I had no idea.

Sorry if I worried you, it's just that we'd gotten caught a little off-guard with that one.

Sam

* * *

Sam,

I don't even know where to begin to respond to that. You had to kill something that looked like Paris Hilton? You had to do it in a wax museum? There's some crazy weird irony there. Actually, it's very disturbing. The set to _House of Wax_ was creepy enough, I can't imagine a wax museum that was actually haunted.

And what's this about Ghandi eating your head?

This is a lot to wrap my head around. I hope I don't hear anything quite this existential from you guys for a while. Anyhow, I've sent you another package. Someone mailed some weird solid silver candlesticks, and since I don't know what to do with them, I'm donating them to the cause. You guys make silver bullets sometimes, right?

Hope you start having better days,

Jared

* * *

Because of how concerned Jared had seemed after the Paris Hilton thing, Sam never mentioned his stint as the KITTpala, or any of the other tv shows.

But he did mention Dean's man-crush on Dr. Sexy. It was only fair, since Dean told Erik about the herpes thing.

Fin


End file.
